A poem that I wrote entitled, "My life on pause"

To many emotions happening inside of me.

Screaming, crying, and yelling, "I just want to be free."

They all tell me that I did the best that I could.

They're lying, telling me what they think they're  should.

I remind myself, "I tried to save him, I really did."

What could I have done? I was just a kid.

Life continues to go on without him here.

I force myself to walk, talk, and shed no tear.

They all think that I'm happy and doing okay.

I've got them all fooled but inside I'm screaming , "Life, go Away." 

The pain of what could have been makes me unhappy.

All that's left to say  is, " I really miss my pappy."

My life since my last post.

I'm so sorry that I haven't posted anything in a long time. After the last post that i published, a lot happened. Right after that, I lost a very dear friend of mine. It was very unexpected and hit me pretty hard. I was glad that our last interaction together was perfect. It was at church and we sat together. Afterwards, we went out to the parking lot, got to talking about a bunch of different things. He then hugged me, said I love you and then we parted ways. The next morning on the anniversary of my fathers death, I got a phone call that my friend was dead. I couldn't believe it. I was back to thinking everyone that I care about will eventually leave me, hurt me, or die. After that, I actually had to have 2 surgeries and then 3 months of physical therapy (totally unrelated.) The good news is that I'm doing better now and I plan on getting better at posting on the blog again.

Weight loss tips

1. It takes your body 20 minutes to realize it's full so slow down and enjoy your food.

 2. Take your bags of snacks and separate them into individual ziplock bags with one serving in each so your not tempted to mindlessly eat all your snacks.

 3. Never skip breakfast. It starts your metabolism up and helps you lose weight.

 4. Drinking a glass of water before every meal makes you feel full and you will eat less.

 5. Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry.

 6. Try to cut out all sodas including diet. A good replacement is- Clear American.

 7. Stay away from high fructose syrup. Look for labels that say- No High Fructose Syrup. V8-Refresher juice has none. If you don't like V8, don't worry, it actually tastes good and doesn't taste like normal V8.

 8. Pay attention to the serving sizes and sodium amounts. Example- Progresso soup cans have 600 mg of sodium but, if you look at the serving size, there is 2 servings in 1 can so that 600 mg. is actually an even worse 1200 mg. per can. 

9. Switch your bread and pasta to whole grain and wheat.

 10. Indulge yourself once a week with the foods that you love so that you don't start craving all that bad food. 

11. Some frozen dinners are ok like smart ones, lean cuisine, Atkins, and weight watchers.

 12. Look for all natural peanut butter. The best ones are the once that have the oil on the top and you have to stir it. The brand-Teddies peanut butter is healthy and tasty.

 13. Instead of 3 big meals, have 3 smaller meals and have small snacks in between meals.

 Snack ideas 1. 100 calorie snack packs 2. Granola bars 3. Air popped popcorn 4. Fruit 5. Yogurt 6. Flavored rice cakes 7. Dark chocolate (not milk) 8. Trail mix 9. Pretzels (unsalted) 10. Chips (baked) 11. Weight watchers ice cream

I'm back!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I have a lot of updates to add. Sorry I haven't been on in a long time. A lot has happened. I will update you later on tonight. I just wanted to post this to tell you guys that I'm back.

What I eat/drank that helped me lose 120 lbs in 10 months!!!!

Ok, first thing is that I followed this healthy eating for 6 days a week. On the 7th day, I indulged myself and I did not workout at all that day. If you don't give yourself a day to recuperate and indulge, then you will start craving things you shouldn't. when I first got started trying to lose weight, the first thing I did was cut out soda and junk food and found healthy alternatives. For soda, there is the brand, "Clear American." It taste like soda but it has 0 calories, 0 sodium, 0 sugars, and 0 caffeine. I also started drinking 60 oz. of water a day. I don't know about you but I hate the taste of water so I use the liquid flavor additives called mio. For junk food, I just kept trying new things until I found the snacks that I liked. Right now, I am loving Greek yogurt. One thing that was really big for me was that I started eating breakfast. I usually have, "Carnations instant breakfast drink"  or I have, "Nature Valley's Breakfast biscuits." Before I continue telling you what I eat/drink, I need to tell you to always check the serving sizes and amount of sodium. For example, Progresso soup cans say they don't have a lot of calories but you have to check the serving size. One can is two servings and the sodium on some of them is almost 600 so there is about 1200 sodium for one little can. Also, stay away from high fructose syrup. I like v8 refreshers drink. It has 6 different kinds of vegetables and 2 kinds of fruit but you don't taste any of the vegetables which is good cause I hate v8. For lunch I usually have a salad or a sandwich and some yogurt. For dinner, I know a lot of people are going to say this is wrong but I eat the Smart Ones frozen dinners. I love them and they must not be to bad because I lost 120 lbs in 10 months!! I think that is enough for today. The next chance that I get, I will talk about what I do to workout. A little info. now, I workout for half an hour a day, 6 days a week. I hope this helps someone. Talk to you guys soon.

I've lost 120 lbs!!!!

Sorry I've been gone a while but I've been so busy with work, church, learning to eat healthy, and working out. I can not believe that I've lost a total of 120 lbs since October 1, 2013. This is just a quick update. I will write down how I lost all that weight tomorrow. Right now, I'm trying to get all of my cleaning done today so I have more time tomorrow to tell all of you how I lost all the weight. It will be a long post but I hope it will be a helpful one. Talk to you guys tomorrow. 

A great Shaytober update

Today was a big day for my Shaytober. I have now lost a total of 17 lbs so far. I have these jeans that I haven't been able to wear for the past 5 years because they were 2 sizes too small. Not only did I get the jeans on, I was able to button and zip them up. Sorry I haven't been posting a lot lately. Shaytober and work has got me wiped out but I promise I will get better at posting.