Big cancer test results day

Today is a big day. We get the test results of my fathers scan. We are going to find out if the cancer spread farther and how long he has left. One thing we know is that my father is done with treatment. I know I am not going to get any sleep. I know that my father has been fighting this disease for a year now and he is tired. I also know that I am being selfish in saying that i don't want to lose him. I am very conflicted right now. On one hand, I can't imagine a life without him but on the other hand, I hate seeing him in so much pain and suffering. He deserves better then this. He is the best person I have ever known. I wish that there was something I could do to make the rest of his time here amazing for him but I can't. I see him everyday getting more and more weak and depressed. I try to talk to him and keep him here mentally but I know that he is just giving up more and more everyday. His favorite words right now are, "I don't care." I will write more after we get his results. I know there is no good news so I will hope for the best of the worst news. I will write more tonight after we get the news.