Anger is poison

It is 4 am and I am having a terrible night. I feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin. I don't know why but I am having another night where thoughts just keep popping in my head about how pathetic and worthless I am. Usually when I get this bad, I watch some YouTube videos to distract me. Tonight, it helped a little but I still feeling like I am not normal, like there is something wrong with me that everyone can see except for me. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. Tyler Oakley just put the quote,"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” onto his tumblr page. Let me tell you, I have anger at my sister for not caring about me, treating me like I don't have feelings, and especially for bringing the piece of garbage she called a boyfriend, into our lives and I am especially angry/scared of my sisters ex. I am angry at my parent for not believing me when I told them how horrible that guy was. I am angry at my cousin for taking advantage of my grandma while she was dying, stealing from her, and threatening her. There's also anger towards my other cousins, one on Jerry springer, her sister the lying queen, and her mother the alcoholic mess. Let's just saw I am hold onto a lot of anger and that's not even a quarter of my messed up family. I know I have a lot of issues and I should go back to therapy but I am scared. I think the worst anger is the anger I have toward myself. I hate what I have become but I don't know how to change.