cancer update and Venting my frustrations

I know I have not been a good blogger lately. I will get the updates out of the way. My father is done with his radiation and it worked amazingly well. Before radiation he had trouble swallowing everything including water and now he can eat anything and everything that he wants. Because of not being able to eat solid foods for a few months, i think his stomach shrank cause he gets full easily. They have not given him chemo for 2 months because his numbers have been to low. I am afraid that the cancer is spreading even worse now because of the chemo break. I think my father could be ok with dealing with stage 4 cancer if only his eyes were not getting bad. He has burst blood vessels in his eyes and he can barely see. I just wish there was something I could do for him. I hate seeing him suffering. If I could I would take his cancer away from him. Give me the stage 4 cancer instead of him. He does not deserve this at all. To top it all off, I had to cut my hours at work and now I am barely making enough money for all the bills. I am so tired of everything. The only thing that is keeping me going without breaking down is the thought that my father needs me to be strong. It is almost 1 am and I am tired. I will write again soon.